Being in your truth is key to attracting and keeping love, but it means nothing if you are incapable of seeing the other. If you can combine keeping it real, listening and reflecting with a good dose of empathy you then have a recipe for true love.


Step #1: Be in right relationship with yourself.

The key to someone else being in relationship with you starts with you being in right relationship with yourself. You can’t share your inner emotional world with your partner unless you know and can appropriately share your feelings. When you become clear in your emotional field, you create bridges for others to cross and the potential to be seen and truly felt.

Step #2: Make it your mission to know what he/she is feeling. 

Make it your mission to tune in to your partner’s emotional world. Even if they are criticizing you, don’t make it about you. Instead of defending yourself, try to get beneath the anger or rage and find out what is fueling the anger.  I’ll give you a hint. It’s usually hurt or fear. These two feelings are much harder to own than rage or righteousness.

Step #3:  Mirror, mirror on the wall, let her know you see and feel her and you will have a ball!

Even if you think he/she is nuts, be a mirror. What does this mean? It means reflecting the feelings back as best you can.  If you don’t understand, then be curious and ask questions until you can validate the feelings and give your partner the gift of empathy. The path to more intimacy involves letting go of the need to look good or be right, and focusing on the core feeling beneath the rage and shame that you might typically receive first when you have disappointed your lover. This is your opportunity to let go of being perfect and become a healer for your mate.  It will open a whole new way of being in relationship.