With divorce your family structure becomes fractured. If you have children, custody is determined and your financial aspects of your household for the first time, or taking on household tasks that were typically handled by your partner. Your relationships with your friends and extended family will shift. This is an enormous time of change.
Divorce Comes with a Great Deal of Loss.
With divorce comes a lot of loss. For many, their best friends have been their partners. The loss of a partner often comes with loneliness and the potential for isolation and depression. This is a crucial period of time to reach out to friends and family to make new connections and create a supportive community. Research has clearly proven that people with friends and a social network live longer. The stress of losing a mate and dealing with all of the changes that come with divorce can weaken your immune system, and make you prone to more serious illness as your body’s defenses are compromised. For most, there is also the loss of financial security, as you move from a two income household to only one salary. Suddenly some of your usual pleasures are no longer affordable as you must cut your spending deeply to make ends meet. You are also losing your identity as a coupled person, and if you have children, taking on the label of single parent. Becoming a single parent typically means the loss of a sexual relationship as well. All of these changes alone can be difficult to navigate, but combined they can create enormous amounts of anxiety and pain. The challenge is to allow yourself to go through the pain of your losses, while at the same time not allowing your losses to consume you to the point of inertia or worse.
Divorce Recovery is About Adapting to Change
You have entered a new demographic and are taking on a new identity. Morphing from married with children to being single is a shock. Perhaps you haven’t been on the dating scene in 10 or 15 years. For some this change can be daunting as you re-enter the life of being single and again back on the market. The dating scene has significantly changed over the past ten years, with thousands of potential mates suddenly available to connect with through various dating websites. Again, how you adjust to this change in identity will make all the difference as to how you come out on the other side.
Identifying Your Stress Symptoms is Key to Divorce Recovery
- Crying
- Social Isolation
- Rage
- Self-Medication (Increased usage of alcohol, drugs, or food to self-soothe)
- Irritability
- Overwhelming Fatigue
- Insomnia
- Shame
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Jaw tension
- Panic Attacks
- Emotional Swings
Emotional Responses to Divorce and Separation
- Dread
- Feeling like you just cannot deal anymore
- Obsessive worry about everything
- Fragility
- Obsessive and negative thoughts
- Negative views of self and the world
- Night terrors
- Feeling helpless and hopeless
- Feeling Worthless
- Inability to make even basic decisions
- Feeling confused Blaming yourself and others
- Rageful Reactions to even small things
You are now in the Drivers Seat! What Direction do you Want to go in? Take Charge!
Some life situations are best not faced alone and without help. Working with a professional with your best interests in mind is a way to get the support you need to get through a difficult period. You may think you cannot afford psychotherapy at this time, but you must think about investing in yourself, in your future now. In addition to healing the fresh wounds of a divorce, set yourself up to be in a healthy and satisfying relationship in the future. We often get lost in a relationship, and lose sight of the parts of us that make us feel happy and fulfilled. Allow this time to be a time of new discovery, where you can unfold into the person you want to be now.
Therapy for Divorce Recovery Makes Sense
If any of the symptoms above apply to you, think seriously of giving me a call and beginning the process of healing and growth that will take you into the next stage of your life. Let me help you in any way I can so you can reconnect with yourself and what you need to heal.
Call me now or fill in my Request a Consultation form and let’s get started!
Warmly,
David Steinberg, PhD
215-253-4473